Australian childhood development experts are making waves with an unconventional parenting recommendation: treat nappy changes as teachable moments about bodily autonomy and consent.
According to sources, Dr Katherine Bussey and Dr Nicole Downes, early childhood researchers from Deakin University, are challenging parents to rethink the rushed, routine nature of diaper changes. In their view, these frequent interactions—often seen as mundane or even unpleasant tasks—present golden opportunities to introduce babies to concepts that will protect them throughout their lives.
“The earlier parents talk about this with their kids, the better,” the researchers wrote in an article. “This way, consent becomes a normal, everyday part of life… You can start teaching little ones about consent even before they can talk.”
The approach doesn’t require waiting for babies to provide verbal permission before proceeding with necessary care. Instead, the experts recommend narrating the process to create awareness and engagement, even with pre-verbal infants who communicate primarily through babbling and body language.
According to their guidance, parents should begin by getting down to the child’s level and announcing: “you need a nappy change,” followed by a pause to allow the information to register. They then suggest offering simple choices, such as asking whether the child would prefer to walk, crawl, or be carried to the changing table.
The researchers emphasize observing facial expressions and body language throughout the process to gauge understanding and comfort levels. Contrary to common practice, they discourage using distractions like songs or toys during changes.
“It’s important children notice when someone is touching their most intimate parts,” they explained, noting that this awareness forms a foundation for recognizing inappropriate contact later in life.
Involving children verbally, even before they can respond coherently, remains central to the approach. Requests like “can you please lift up your bottom so I can slide your nappy out” serve a purpose beyond the immediate task. These interactions, the researchers argue, plant “the seed of the idea that a child has the right to say what happens to their body.”
The experts also advocate for using proper anatomical terminology—p*nis, vulva, and anus—rather than childish nicknames. While acknowledging this may cause parental discomfort, they emphasize its protective value.
“This keeps children safe as it means they can then inform trusted adults about their experiences with all the people who care for them,” they wrote, noting that the same principles should apply when changing clothes or giving baths.
The researchers acknowledge the practical realities of parenting, recognizing that their recommendations add complexity to an already demanding role. Emergency situations—they specifically mention “poosplosions”—may require parents to prioritize efficiency over the consent conversation.
“The habits we outline above may also seem to add more work to the already demanding parental load,” they conceded. “Try and do them as often as possible and be kind to yourself if every nappy change isn’t a perfect moment of connection, you are supporting a small child after all.”
The ultimate goal, according to Bussey and Downes, extends beyond individual nappy changes. By integrating consent conversations into daily routines from infancy, these principles become normalized rather than relegated to awkward, one-time discussions. This ongoing dialogue helps children develop an internal framework for understanding what is and isn’t appropriate regarding their bodies, potentially providing protection against abuse as they grow.